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I feel a little weird. I didn't go to school today because my butt-hip-knee-leg pain has been acting up. It usually subsides after awhile, but when I first wake up its like I can't go anywhere.  I wonder if I should invest in a cane or something... or maybe even a cool walking stick because I hate when I want to go somewhere or do something but the pain holds me back.

Last night I went to my friends birthday party...
I'm usually hesitant about going because after awhile there's only so much that you can do at a party where literally everyone is drinking except for you.  But I went anyway because I've been flaking on their shenanigans all year. Its kinda silly, but I always feel proud of myself every time I turn down their offers to drink.  I politely say "No thank you" with a smile and then it's over and done with, minus those who like to hear it repeatedly. And I think its funny when people ask me if I drink, and when I tell them "no, maybe next year when i'm 21" they respond "oh rhea, you're good". haha. um thank you? I dunno, I guess I feel proud because freshman year I used to feel uncomfortable and  left out and blah blah blah. but whatever because regardless of my titles "sober girl", "good girl", etc. I can now gladly hold my ground and still enjoy the company of others. and that my friends is growth.  So don't fret when you see pictures of me at parties on facebook, I'm really just drinking diet soda. hahaha.

sigh,
reality check.
5 days of school left.
i need to get my life together.
Lord, help me to work hard and balance my life.
I can do this, WE ALL can do this.

Here's my vent.
I don't like being jealous, and I hate that I get jealous because I never imagined myself to be the "jealous-type".  And when I think about the things that I get jealous about, I feel so silly and dumb.  But I'm only human right? So I'm going to feel what I feel and move on.  sigh.

p.s. yay for praisefest! God is very good.

so, I'm going to try to love lent, because its a time to really grown more in love with Him right? right.
but man, I hope I made the right decision giving up aim. I'm not going to lie... its hard. Which sounds sad, and probably IS sad, but I like talking to people online... is that such a crime?! sigh, only when it gets in the way of studying which i admit sometimes happens. but in the end i'm sure this will be a good thing for me, considering the dreaded finals are coming quickly around the corner.

so i went dress shopping today. and i was kind of successful. but i dont know what color shoes go with a white and yellow dress? but anyway, i was trying on this one dress in particular, and i thought to myself "hey this looks kind of different, i think i'll try it on". Little did i know, it would try to EAT ME. So i try on the silly dress.. and decide "nah, its not really my style" and as i try to take it off I quickly realize that its one of those dresses thats easy to put on but impossible to take off because the arms are soed too tight and don't allow you the flexibilty to manuever your arm out of the sleeve! LKJALFJSDAJF, i wanted to die for 15 seconds. i nearly screamed in the dressing room for my mom because i didn't know what to do i was panic-ing because i had half my arm in an awkward position trying to get it out, but no matter what i did i was stuck. it was like being in a straight jacket. finally after some deep breaths and a few broken threads i managed to get out. i looked like i got beat up after. my hair was a mess.. red marks on my body from where the dress tried to cut off my circulation during the taking off process. hahaha.. yeah. stupid sneaky dress. sorry Lord, i didn't tell anyone about the ripped threads.. but the dress deserved it. it was a horrible make. and i know i wasn't too fat for it. (i think) yeah, that was probably the most adventurous part of my day.

to end, someone told me that i dont give my parents enough credit for being understanding.  I guess i was really afraid to come home this weekend because i recently made some boo boos with my money, i won't get into detail but ive been lucky enough to sort things out.  but yeah i was afraid that when i came home or got into the car when my parents picked me up that i'd be yelled at and what not.  but none of that happened.  i guess i'm lucky that school separates me far away enough that my parents can cool off and just tell me what to do over the phone as opposed to being yelled at right away. but it is true, i don't give my parents enough credit for being understanding. because i know they are, i just don't listen. and yeah.. i'm really thankful that they're letting me grow up. mmhmm. the end.

I'm really thankful that this past week and weekend have been really good. Nothing amazing happened during the week or anything. I had my momentary periods of stress but overall it was really simple, and I guess for once I felt like I had a handle on life for a little bit.  Maybe its because I talk to Him more.  And this weekend was awesome too. what better way to spend your Valentines Day than with mass, camp training, and quality time with friends? its always good to feel loved, thaaanks God